From time to time, I heard people asking “So, what do you need?”. When that question raised, I know, something is just wrong. If you have to ask a person what he/she needs, it’s time to split up and get on your way. Because if you truly care, you should have already knew …

Maybe, I’m just a girl with too many needs. Needs to be cared, to be loved, to deeply covered in good words, warm blanket and beautiful things … I’m not suitable to live in a live that human are scary, thoughtless and careless. I’m not supposed to be sensitive and emotional about everything everyone everytime … But … unfortunately, I do. The more I do, the more hopeless that I felt. I think it’s my tragedy.

But how can people know what I need, if I don’t tell them. I suddenly see myself laughing at my own questions … How can I know? Maybe what I know is wrong. What I think I know about what my beloveds need are wrong. Maybe, definitely, I’m not sure!

But I know I don’t ask that question. I tuned my actions, I listened to what they said, I tried to understand and gave them space. Or maybe I’m really wrong in interpreting all of those signals. Maybe my care is simply making them tired of me. Could be. So I stopped. I stopped many times before. Stopped caring and listening. I told myself “I don’t have to do a thing, nothing at all for anyone, I just need to make myself happy”. So I stopped. But I know I would start again, when my mood changes. Always.

Just once, I wish that there is somebody also doing the same for me. Think about my needs and listen. Maybe there is somebody, but I don’t feel that. So I stopped, I stopped talking and explaining. I’m walking through life, wondering when it will end, and it will free me out of my own misery …